#WisdomWednesdays: How to Let Go of Resentment
We’re all different people with different belief systems, communication styles, and experiences in life. As such, disagreements in relationships are inevitable. But, when you come from a place of love and compassion, you can move past it and learn how to let go of resentment . It can be tricky, but it is necessary for a healthy relationship. The secret is taking a step back to check in with yourself and hold space for others.
In today’s episode, Rosie and Tessa talk about the importance of holding space in relationships. They recall some personal experiences that have proven the beauty of holding space for and honoring each other amidst disagreements and budding resentment. They also break down the feeling of resentment to better understand its root and how to turn it down.
Tune in to this episode to discover the transformative power of holding space and releasing resentment in shaping a healthier relationship with yourself and others.
Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
- Find out a new approach in dealing with disagreements in relationships.
- Discover the beauty and importance of holding space for yourself and others.
- Learn how to let go of resentment.
Tessa’s Recent Trip to Germany
- Tessa just got back from a trip to Germany to visit her best friend.
- According to her, spending time with her best friend feels like home.
- What she loves about their friendship is the way it is radically honest and supportive.
- Friendships are like romantic relationships in many ways.
- It's crucial to share openly, honor each other, and give some space for each other to grow.
- After getting sick from COVID, Rosie started to bring more intention to making time for her friends.
- She finds importance in nourishing her innermost circle of friends and family consistently.
- For this, voice notes come in handy. It can help you stay connected with friends and be an outlet for your feelings.
Dealing with Disagreements
- There are instances when we’re not ready to hear what someone has to tell us; we need to learn how to move past those.
- Tessa recalls her falling out with her best friend. She suddenly stopped talking to Tessa for two years.
- When they reconciled, it was hard for Tessa to accept how her best friend felt towards her. But she had to respect her experience and give her some space and time.
- For Tessa, leaving space for others and herself helps her deal with such mishaps.
- We all have different belief systems and processes. When it comes to disagreements, the best thing you can do is honor and respect someone’s boundary out of love.
In-Person Conversations vs. Text Conversations
- In-person conversations can better portray reactions and feelings.
- Conversing through text can be a challenge because things might get taken the wrong way.
- Regardless if it’s a face-to-face or text conversation, Rosie reminds us that other people do not communicate the same way you do.
- You have to be open to receive how other people communicate so you can meet eye to eye.
- Tessa shares that she appreciates and finds safety in her partner’s direct communication style.
- It is possible to be direct and compassionate at the same time.
- You can speak your truth from a place of love and compassion.
How to Let Go of Resentment
- Rosie talks about her interview with Dr. Jacqui Lewis about speaking your truth but feeling resentment afterward.
- You might find discomfort in the space between what you want the outcome to be and what the outcome is, and this may draw resentment.
- Your resentment can come from premeditated expectations that are not met by someone else, and that’s on you.
- There is so much give and take in a relationship. Discerning your expectations and being mindful of them can help you learn how to let go of resentment.
- Resentment or disappointment in a relationship can come from a lost connection with yourself. Take a moment to see what’s happening.
- We can be experts at finger-pointing at others. We also have to point fingers back at ourselves to see if we’re the ones with a problem.
- Holding space for and honoring each other is essential in any relationship.
5 Powerful Quotes
[10:51] “I lean towards giving the person space, and I approach that across the board with grieving someone’s loss, or betrayal, or things with that nature.”
[12:25] “One of the best definitions of loving someone to me is the whole concept of accepting all of who they are.”
[24:07] “We have certain people in our lives that fulfill a certain role. And if they're not filling that role exactly how you want it, that's not on them. That's on you.”
[25:23] “Expectations are premeditated resentments because you’ve lost sight of the connection with yourself.”
[29:03] “If you don’t leave room for the other, where does the light come in?”
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