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Radically Loved® with Rosie Acosta

Hi I’m Rosie Acosta. I am a Meditation Teacher; Speaker and Author of You Are Radically Loved: A healing journey to self-love. I grew up in East Los Angeles during the 92 La Riots and it set me on a troubled path for many years. I didn’t grow up with mentors in my life, so I turned to reading as many books as I possibly could to learn about life’s purpose. In my journey as a First Gen-Mexican American, I found having these conversations gave me insight, support, and inspiration. So, I decided to create a place where I could share these conversations with my community. The Radically Loved Podcast was born! How do we create a radically loved life? Come have a sit with me so we can discover all things mindfulness, spirituality, self-love, and overall healthy living. Please be sure to share the episodes that you love and also leave us a review!
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Now displaying: December, 2021
Dec 3, 2021

Gaining Ferocious Courage to Tell the Truth with Dr. Jacqui Lewis

It’s not easy to tell the truth —it takes ferocious courage to say the things that need to be heard. But when we do get the knack of expressing our truths, we invite others to practice rule-breaking kindness.

Dr. Jacqui Lewis joins us to share the key to gaining the courage to tell the truth. We also talk about extending compassion to ourselves and others in this time of collective grief, and how to deal with resentment. The answer lies in love—fierce love for yourself and everyone else.

If you want to become a truth warrior and create a kinder world, make sure to tune in to this episode.

This episode is brought to you by..

Manscaped
www.manscaped.com/radicallyloved
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Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

  1. Understand the difference between hard, fierce love and namby-pamby love.
  2. Learn how to confront others with the truth.
  3. Discover why you need to be curious about others’ truths.

Resources

  • Fierce Love by Dr. Jacqui Lewis
  • Middle Church
  • Connect with Dr. Jacqui through her website.
  • FREE Action Guide! Apply the lessons you learn from this episode as you listen! Sign up at com, and I’ll send it right away!

Episode Highlights

When Someone Says ‘You Need to Calm Down’

  • It’s easy to get even more inflamed when someone tells you to calm down.
  • However, what that often means is they are the ones who need to calm down. They don’t know how to handle your energy, so they’re crying out for help.
  • Instead of saying ‘I can see you’re upset’ or ‘You need to calm down,’ it’s better to say ‘I hear you, I can feel how upset you are, so I’m going to take a step back.’
  • This statement is more empathetic and allows you to neutralize a heated situation.

Ferocious Courage to Tell the Truth

  • Jacqui’s book is subtitled: ‘A bold path to ferocious courage and rule-breaking kindness that can heal the world.’
  • She came up with this statement, after realizing how ferociously courageous it was to tell the truth about herself and confront her story.
  • This ferocious courage to tell the truth transcends into rule-breaking kindness.

How to Confront Someone with Your Truth

  • If we want to tell the truth and have it go well, we’ll have to wire ourselves with ‘I’ statements.
  • Our feelings are facts. So, no one’s going to be defensive about your feelings.
  • Also, you have to let go of the outcome after you tell the truth. You can’t manage how others will react—you can only handle your dynamics.

Modelling Truth-Telling

  • Jacqui envisions a world where we raise children to be truth warriors.
  • It’s hard to tell the truth, but it’s necessary to prevent violence.

Hard and Fierce Love

  • This type of love takes risks and makes your head hurt.
  • It applies to having tough but necessary conversations.
  • When we fiercely love ourselves, we are less brittle, competitive, and jealous.

Practicing Fierce Love Even Amidst Grief

  • We are at a time where to be human in the world is to be in a state of grief.
  • Grief causes us to be angry, sad, or brittle. We tend to do things we don’t normally do when we are grieving.
  • So, we should exercise a bit more compassion and a bit less judgment towards ourselves and others.

Being Curious About Others’ Truths

  • Every person in the world has their own interior life that you’re simply bumping into. Their experience is likely not about you, but it’s real for them.
  • So, it’s crucial not to dismiss their truths, but to explore them.
  • We’re on our separate journeys, and the person you’re interacting with may not be at the same place as you.
  • What’s important is to keep modeling the behavior you hope for.

Dealing with Resentment

  • Resentment stems from the gap between what you hope for and what is.
  • The best way to fill this gap is self-love.
  • If we exercise our self-love muscles, we can be there for ourselves when other people fail us.

How Dr. Jacqui Feels Radically Loved

  • Jacqui feels radically loved by her source, God.
  • She believes that God will never leave her, and she is peaceful that she has somebody with her all the time.
  • She also emphasizes the radical love she feels from her family.

5 Powerful Quotes from this Episode

[3:24] “When we are in that threat place, that danger place, ‘Calm down’ inflames; ‘I can hear you, I can feel you, I can see you’ is empathy.”

[6:00] “Ferocious courage is to just show ourselves to each other, our needs, our wants, our desires, our fears, our dreams, our hopes, our passion, our sensuality.”

[13:09] “We can build bridges, we can create a deeper understanding by coming from a state of love and kindness.”

[22:59] “We just don't have to be so strung out about the other person's stuff, because it's their stuff, not yours.”

[30:44] “That's resentment: the gap between what I hoped for and what is. So how do you fill that gap?”

About Dr. Jacqui

Dr. Jacqui J. Lewis is the founder of The Middle Project and The Middle Church Group. They regularly host annual conferences to train potential leaders to combat racism, bigotry, and poverty. She was ordained in the Presbyterian church and was the first woman to become a senior minister in the Collegiate Church.

Dr. Jacqui started her career in the corporate world but found her way back to serving God in churches. In addition to being a holder of many postgraduate degrees, she is an author of numerous books.

If you want to connect with Dr. Jacqui, you may visit her website. You can also browse the church she co-founded with her husband at The Middle Church website.

Enjoy the Podcast?

If you felt radically loved from listening to this podcast, subscribe and share it with the people you love!

Love to give us 5 stars? If you do, we'd love a review from you. Help us reach more people and make them feel loved.

Do you want to help people become more ferociously courageous to tell the truth? A simple way is to share what you've learned today on social media.

Don’t forget to follow and message us on these platforms!

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rosieacosta/

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To feeling radically loved,

Rosie

Dec 1, 2021

Understand Emotions and the Consequences of Transference with long time listener

Nicky Sciortino

Have you ever been mad at someone who hadn’t done anything to you? Or perhaps felt that someone was upset at you for no reason? Everyone handles negative emotions differently — some people respond with forgiveness and mindfulness. However, sometimes we hold those negative emotions inside us. If we don’t  , we pass them onto others and get angry at people who don’t deserve it. This phenomenon is called transference.

 

In this episode, Nicky Sciortino discusses transference and its significance in our lives. She also encourages us to examine our emotions and acknowledge if we have committed transference before. Accepting ourselves is only half of the battle. Nicky guides us into finding solutions to avoid redirecting our negative emotions and feelings to others.

 

If you want to understand emotions, and reconnect with your authentic self, stay tuned to this episode!

 

This episode is brought to you by...

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Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

 

  1. Discover the meaning of transference.
  2. Uncover ways to avoid redirecting our negative emotions to others.
  3. Learn why it helps to understand emotions and find our authentic selves.

 

Resources

 

Episode Highlights

Nicky, an Avid Listener of Radically Loved

  • Nicky incorporated the lessons she learned on the Radically Loved podcast in her yoga classes.
  • She loved listening to the podcast, especially during the pandemic, where she couldn't talk to her friends as much.
  • Listening to the show was like getting to have girl talk with her friends.

About Transference

  • Transference refers to redirecting the feelings you have from one person to another individual.
  • You know you’re on the receiving end because you can’t find a reasonable explanation for the other person’s behavior.
  • Nicky experienced transference when she joined a yoga class led by an upset instructor. Tune in to the full episode to hear the story!
  • Nicky went back to what she learned from Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements. One of these lessons is don't take anything personally.
  • Projecting is different from transference. It refers to attributing your negative emotions and qualities to another person.

Nicky’s Experience of Committing Transference

  • Nicky had a student who kept getting under her skin. She can't figure out why.
  • After Nicky's yoga class, a student roughly 30 years her senior would frequently ask her basic questions about the class, or for personal advice.
  • Instead of reacting negatively, Nicky took the time to examine herself and understand emotions.
  • When you lash out at someone, you're expressing your pent-up negative emotions. It’s your responsibility to understand why you react the way you do.

Not Everyone Can Be a Teacher

  • People practice yoga to feel nourished, filled, and connected to their bodies and community. It's not a space to be criticized or dismissed.
  • Yoga teachers wield a lot of power and influence. Therefore, they carry a lot of responsibility.
  • We should focus on quality instead of the number of yoga instructors.
  • Yoga teachers must actively pursue their yogic path to teach a more profound type of practice.

Understand Emotions, Be Aware of Transference

  • The topic of transference reminded Tessa of Ram Dass’s quote: "I would like my life to be a statement of love and compassion—and where it isn't, that's where my work lies.”
  • Examining ourselves if we committed transference is difficult and scary because it makes us vulnerable.
  • Yoga teachers should be aware when they redirect negative emotions to others.
  • Many tools can help you avoid transference. Peel back the layers of the onion, understand emotions, and scrub yourself!
  • When you’re a recipient of transference, remember that it’s the other person’s issue and not yours.

Continue Reflecting on Ourselves

  • It's crucial to continue examining ourselves and help others do the same. Take accountability and invite in that compassion and self-study all at once.
  • There may not be a pot at the end of the rainbow, but it’s beautiful to see ourselves evolve through time.
  • Working on ourselves allows us to live an authentic life.
  • In unraveling our embedded thoughts and beliefs, we become fully present.

 

5 Powerful Quotes from This Episode

 

[13:35] “...we're all works in progress. We all make mistakes — and how do you learn from it?”

 

[21:43] “When you're able to take care of your own demons, they don't become triggers anymore.”

 

[22:34] “Whenever somebody makes you angry, remember that they're an empty boat. That anger exists inside of you. It's your job to understand those triggers. It's your job to not be the reactor.”

 

[24:42] “If people were more conscious and awake about their own personal experience, we wouldn't have as many unfavorable interactions with other people.”

 

[37:46] “The whole purpose of doing all of this is to unravel all of those embedded thoughts and beliefs and transform them into exactly what is present.”

 

About Nicky

 

Nicky Sciortino is an author, illustrator, and yoga instructor. She wrote the book Finding Yourself in the World that follows one puzzle piece's journey to find its unique gifts and talents.

 

Nicky first tried yoga to prevent injury as she was training for the marathon. She later fell in love with the practice as it complimented every aspect of her life. It helped her prepare mentally during jiu-jitsu competitions and made her know her body better.

 

She became a Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT) in 2017. Since then, she has taught yoga in different venues, from studios to military bases! Nicki is also passionate about applying sports medicine and yoga philosophy during class to help her students feel mentally and physically better.

You can connect with Nicky through Facebook.

 

Enjoy the Podcast?

If you felt radically loved from listening to this podcast, subscribe and share it with the people you love! By sharing, you can help people understand emotions and how they influence how we think and act.

 

Love to give us 5 stars? If you do, we'd love a review from you. Help us reach more people and make them feel loved.

 

Do you want to help people find their direction again in their career and personal life? A simple way is to share what you've learned today on social media.

 

Don't forget to send us messages on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Thanks for listening!

 

To feeling radically loved,

Rosie

 

 

 

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