From a young age, girls are taught to follow a certain set of rules — rules that can rob us of our creative power. Furthermore, conforming to the “good girl” label haunts us until adulthood, becoming wired in our mindset and in how we present ourselves. But we are more than what the good girl myth tells us to be. We are bold, powerful, and confident, and it's time to break free from this and be our best selves.
In today's episode, Majo Molfino joins us to talk about dismantling the good girl myth. She shares the tools that have helped her deprogram the good girl archetype and the epiphanies that led her there. Majo also imparts her book writing process and the best routine for sinking into deep creative work.
If you’re struggling to break the good girl archetype, this episode will help you learn what you need to do!
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Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
- Discover the tools you can use to work on sustainable changes.
- Learn about the five good girl myths and how to dismantle them.
- Explore self-inquiry tips that can help you see your counterproductive patterns.
- Connect with Majo: Website | Instagram
- Heroine Podcast
- Break the Good Girl Myth by Majo Molfino
- Burning Man
- Create a daily meditation ritual in just seven days! Download BUILD YOUR DAILY MEDITATION RITUAL and other freebies atcom!
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- Her family immigrated to the U.S. from Argentina when she was young.
- Being an immigrant shaped her life. She feared that her parents would feel like leaving their country was a waste.
- So, she worked hard at school to make them proud and happy.
- When she graduated, she had an existential spiritual crisis and felt lost after not having any more rules to follow.
Big Catalyst Moment
- Majo scored a 9 to 5 research job in Washington, D.C., which her father was happy about.
- Upon seeing herself in the mirror wearing a black blazer and pants, she felt like she was wearing a costume.
- That moment of disidentification became a big “aha” for Majo. It was when her consciousness started to shift.
- Many epiphanies happened and stacked up in her twenties that allowed her to find her own path.
- Yoga and meditation played significant roles in her awakening.
Working on Sustainable Change
- She spent a decade trying to deprogram the good girl archetype that she built up until she was 20 years old.
- The tools that helped her were breathwork, meditation, mindfulness, psychedelics, and design thinking.
- Psychedelics enormously helped her see that she was caged in a hypermasculine capitalistic orientation.
- She learned about the process of tinkering and prototyping while finishing her Master’s in Learning, Design, and Technology.
- Majo brings together all these tools in her unique method of coaching.
- At first, Majo thought that psychedelics equate to drugs and bad stuff.
- After quitting her second job, she decided to go to Burning Man, a social experiment event in the desert.
- Burning Man’s counterculture environment helped her as someone who was always in a system. It revolved around radical self-expression, gift economy, and spirituality.
- There, a man in his 50s offered her “medicine and sacrament.” Being in a safe and sacred context, she trusted her intuition and took it.
- This experience made her realize how much suppressed creativity she had. It became one of her biggest epiphanies.
Dismantling the Good Girl Archetype
- For Majo, the process happened in many instances.
- However, what accelerated the journey for her was understanding the five good girl myths.
- Seeing these patterns in herself, her clients, listeners, friends, and family inspired her to write the book.
- Majo believes that we are born into a patriarchal society with a very defined idea of what a girl and woman should be.
Good Girl Myths
- We each all have our own dominant good girl myth.
- For Majo, it’s the myth of perfection: having impossibly high standards for herself and other people.
- Tune in to the full episode to learn more about the other good girl myths!
- Journaling has helped Majo a great deal. Specifically, she tracks her menstrual cycle to see patterns.
- She’s a huge proponent of taking action. It helps her see her other blind spots and continue to lean into her edges.
Writing the Book
- A well-thought-out proposal and structure will help you keep the flow when working on manuscripts.
- It was challenging for her to get her core argument down and reach conceptual clarity.
- The highlight for her was the research part, going down from one rabbit hole to another.
- She worked on writing only around three to four hours a day because of the required attentional focus.
- Tune in to the full episode to learn about Majo’s writing schedule!
Advice on Creative Work and Going Through a Hard Time
- Eliminate making as many choices as possible to prevent decision fatigue.
- Creatives have the most boring routine. They adhere to this to focus on deep creative work.
- It’s a good thing to be at a low point. It’s a sign that you’re undergoing a powerful transformation.
- Be patient with yourself and have a lot of self-compassion.
5 Powerful Quotes from This Episode
[3:17] “Our engrainment was to follow the rules, keep your nose, you know, keep your nose to the grindstone, like, just don't ask questions, just do what you need to do.”
[8:02] “One of the things that I learned that blew my head off was the process of tinkering, and prototyping and that really helped me build a lot of creative confidence, and helped me undo a lot of perfectionism that I had somehow picked up.”
[18:10] “We're born into a patriarchal society that has a very defined idea of how a girl and a woman should be…but it's up to us to choose if that actually feels integrated, or actually feels right for us.”
[19:13] “My dominant good girl myth is the myth of perfection. So for me, it's having impossibly high standards for myself and other people, and not being able to sort of accept the messiness of life and the way things are.”
[30:49] “If you are going through a hard time right now... it's a good thing to be there and that you are most likely undergoing a powerful transformation. And there is light at the end of this tunnel.”
Majo Molfino is a Woman’s Leadership Coach who guides multi-passionate professional women to design their creative purpose. She is the host of the Heroine Podcast, a show featuring women creative leaders and visionaries in innovative fields. Majo supports women through her inspirational content and programs.
Majo is the author of the #1 Amazon New Release Break the Good Girl Myth. She has been featured in various media platforms, including Harper's Bazaar, Forbes, FastCoDesign, and more.
If you want to connect with Majo, visit her website or follow her on Instagram.
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