#WisdomWednesdays: How to Stop Putting People on a Pedestal and Comparing Yourself to Others
If you’re like most people, you probably begin comparing yourself with others at the sight of greener pastures. However, what others choose to show us often does not include their struggles and flaws. In addition, everyone has a unique life path. Thus, it's best to refrain from putting others on pedestals. Instead, look inwards. Ask yourself — how can you bring joy into your life? Can you be the sun in someone else's?
In this episode, Rosie and Tessa discuss the pitfalls of putting others on a pedestal and comparing yourself with others. They also touch on our humanness, making mistakes, and how everyone can change if we allow them to do so. Rosie also talks about choosing value-adding friendships and shares a personal experience about setting boundaries.
Tune in to discover simple ways to be more in tune with yourself and combat the lack mentality!
Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
- Understand why you shouldn’t put people on a pedestal and stop comparing yourself with others.
- Discover the need to look beyond people’s mistakes and allow them to change.
- Know the importance of choosing what kind of friendships to keep in your life.
Resources
Episode Highlights
Why We Shouldn’t Put Other People on a Pedestal
- We’re all humans who make mistakes. So, putting others on a pedestal only sets you up for disappointment.
- We’re all flawed, but we tend to hide those parts of ourselves from the world. Instead, we only show our highlight reels.
- Instead of comparing yourself with others, you can direct your energy and attention inward, toward things that bring you joy.
- More often than not, we admire people not because they have something that we don’t, but because they live more freely than us.
- Looking at someone carrying out their purpose can either spur us into action or make us feel defeated.
How to Stop Comparing Yourself with Others
- We need to pause and consider that other people’s lives are their own.
- We never know what someone else is going through. So, the best we can do is wish them well on their journey.
- Also, recognize that you have a lot to be grateful for in your life. Doing so can help distance yourself from a ‘lack’ mentality.
- Ask yourself, what are the things you've done that make you feel proud?
Acting on Inspiration
- It’s not entirely wrong to put others on a pedestal because these people can inspire us to excel.
- The issue comes with being addicted to the inspiration and not doing anything in return.
- We have to create an outlet for this inspiration, or it becomes corrosive.
Looking Beyond Mistakes
- People make mistakes. What’s important is how we process and learn from them.
- Sometimes, it’s difficult to own up to our own mistakes due to fear of rejection.
- We must give ourselves and others room to make mistakes and learn from them.
- People can change, and we should give them that space to grow.
- If people are acting out, it’s often because they come from a place of pain.
On Friendships
- There are three types of friends—high maintenance, low maintenance, and no maintenance.
- There is a correct balance of friends for you. You can only give and take so much.
- Keep friendships that are value-adding to your life. It's okay to let go of friends. Asymmetrical relationships can be harmful to both of you.
- The key to navigating friendships is clear boundaries.
- Listen to the full episode to hear Rosie’s story about a person who wanted to be friends with her.
Final Thoughts
- To become better friends, we can reflect on this question: How do we show up as the sun in other people’s lives?
- It is essential to cultivate your sense of self through meditation or alone time.
- Through mindfulness, you can know yourself instead of focusing your attention on how people perceive you.
- Knowing who you truly are can help you navigate life without being clouded by others' judgments.
5 Powerful Quotes
[04:36] “Instead of comparing somebody else’s outsides to our insides, we can reflect and put our attention and energy into the things that make us happy and bring us joy.”
[11:33] “If we are just beings that want to consume inspiration and never do something in return, it's going to eventually create a void.”
[22:18] “Somebody that maybe you admire or that you see that might have this outwardly wonderful-looking life could be going through a lot. So I always say, don’t put people on pedestals.”
[37:01] “It’s time to release that relationship out into the world because it’s not serving you. And I do believe that you outgrow people.”
[41:52] “Without mindfulness, you will always be constructing your sense of self based on others’ perceptions.”
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