What It Takes to Be in a Healthy Relationship with Torry Pendergrass
We all want to be in a lasting, healthy relationship, but how can we achieve that? I’ve got a special person on board to talk about this topic — my long-time partner and fiancé, Torry. He’s here with me today to share stories about our relationship and how we keep it going.
In today’s episode, we open up about our relationship and exchange insights on how we built it over the years. We talk about building trust, having good communication, and setting healthy boundaries.
Tune in to the episode to gain new insights on establishing a healthy relationship anchored on trust and communication.
Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
- Learn how Torry and I open up about how we work to be in a healthy relationship.
- Get tips on how to develop good dynamics and stay connected with your partner.
- How does Torry feel radically loved? Find out toward the end of the episode.
Being Together 24/7 During Quarantine
- You and your partner can be together all day, but it doesn’t mean it’s all quality time together.
- Finding ways to hang out at home is crucial in a relationship.
How Torry Has Been During the Pandemic
- Torry talks about his daily routine. Getting dressed helps him stay productive at home.
- Writing was his way to cope with the pandemic, especially with the career transition he had to go through.
- He used this time to find inspiration and use his brain in other ways.
- He talks about staying off social media. There’s a risk of getting uninspired because of social media.
Supporting Each Other in Our Relationship
- For Torry, he is the type to look for ways to support others instead of him looking into how others can support him.
- He has the “when you feel helpless, help someone” mentality.
- On the other hand, I’m the type to ask for comfort and affection when I want to feel better.
Talking About Our Boundaries
- Know and respect that it’s not always about you.
- There’s always a kind way to communicate your boundaries.
- What worked for us is learning how to become independent and giving each other time and space.
- In the beginning, I struggled with becoming independent, but I eventually figured it out and worked my way towards trusting Torry.
- It is crucial to find security and confidence in yourself to make a relationship work.
Pieces of Advice from Us
- Give yourself the time and space to be with yourself.
- Don’t let desperation make you make bad decisions.
- Don’t be so attached to needing to find a relationship. It can create other issues within yourself.
- Manage expectations from your partner.
- Learn how to say what is bothering you. Give each other the trust and respect to say what they need to say.
3 Ways to Stay Connected with Your Partner
- Create rituals with each other.
- Set parameters and reconverge at night.
5 Powerful Quotes from This Episode
[07:41] “Rosie had to teach me, train me, to know that just because we’re in the same room doesn’t mean we’re hanging out.”
[22:45] “I think it’s more about just being present and listening and being aware of what the other person needs—and setting boundaries as well.”
[24:29] “I guess some simple tips would be to just know and respect and realize that it’s not always about you.”
[31:02] “Even in relationships now, you know, or marriages that have had hard times, it really comes down to how secure are you in the marriage, especially if there’s been issues, or if somebody stepped out, or if there’s been dishonesty in the relationship.”
[42:56] “Attachment is premeditated resentment. And what happens when we have resentment? We can create all kinds of other issues within ourselves.”
Torry Pendergrass is my fiancé and future baby daddy. He is the owner and creator of Red Monkey Designs, and he helps produce my podcast episodes.
To know more about Torry and his photography work, visit his website.
To know more about Torry and Red Monkey Designs, visit his website.
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