#WisdomWednesdays: Pressing Pause, Mindful Speaking, and Powerful Ideas for Self-Care
Our ideas for self-care often consist of getting a relaxing massage, dipping into bubble baths, and splurging on new stuff. This perception makes it seem like self-care is sold in bottles — in bath bombs, in beauty and wellness products, in art materials, and the list goes on. But the highest forms of self-care actually cost nothing and can also extend to your relationships and interactions with others.
In today's episode, Rosie and Tessa discuss self-care practices that will nourish you and your relationship with your loved ones. Fostering good relationships is equally essential to your well-being as pampering yourself every once in a while. Learning how to express yourself kindly, embracing change, and pause and reflection are self-care practices that improve your life overall.
If you want to learn valuable ideas for self-care to nurture yourself and your relationships, then this episode is for you!
Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
- Learn about the “feel, felt, found” technique and how to use it in situations filled with stress and frustration.
- Discover the importance of choosing your words and how you say them wisely.
- Find out how pressing pause and expressing yourself compassionately are the ultimate practices of self-care.
How to Calm Someone Down
- Telling someone to calm down usually elicits the opposite response.
- Be mindful of the language you use with others and yourself.
- Every time you find the urge to tell someone to calm down or react negatively to being told this line, try using the “feel, felt, found” technique.
- It’s about what you “feel” the person is feeling at the moment, what you “felt” about it, and what actions you “found” you can both take to assess and solve the situation.
- Listen to the full episode to find out how the technique worked for Rosie and Torry!
Expressing Yourself with Compassion
- When you’re frustrated, it’s difficult to respond to situations compassionately.
- We aggressively react most of the time because of the underlying fear, which may prevent us from acting wisely.
- For Rosie, one of the ultimate ideas for self-care is expressing yourself fully.
- Suppressing your feelings due to fear of losing control or exhaustion is harmful because you might develop an unhealthy relationship with self-expression.
- Acknowledging someone’s feelings immediately diffuses the situation.
The Danger of “But”
- When you use ”but” in a sentence, you negate everything that came before that.
- Try changing “but” into a different word, such as “and”.
- Be a part of the solution, not the problem.
- Use your words mindfully instead of lashing out at people.
Responding with Empathy
- When Tessa notices someone getting upset, she tries to respond with empathy and acknowledgment.
- Try putting yourself in another person’s shoes.
- It’s easy to simply attack someone for not sharing the same opinions and beliefs, but it’s necessary to work on bettering our relationships to create a ripple effect.
- Changing the world starts from home. It’s where we learn how to form relationships.
Moving On and Embracing Change
- Moving forward and not being stuck in the past is one of the best ideas for self-care.
- Living in the present allows you to create new habits and improve yourself and your relationships.
- In relationships, don’t use the words “never” and “always”. These trap people in their past selves and creates an obstacle for change.
- We’re all constantly changing, and accepting change comes with treasuring your people.
Choosing What To Say and How To Say Them
- Be more conscious of the language and communication style you use with others.
- Though it might be unintentional, using “never” and “always” can come off as dismissive and judgmental.
- Also, remember that it’s not always necessarily about what you’re saying, but how you’re saying it. So, pay attention to your body language and non-verbal communication.
- Choosing to speak mindfully can help you become a better communicator.
Remember to Press Pause
- Stepping away from a situation can diffuse it and help you calm down.
- It’s best to do something else to collect yourself and return to a charged conversation at a later time.
- Not many people realize this, but pausing and reflecting are the greatest acts and ideas for self-care.
Misconceptions About Self-Care
- Tessa’s friend thinks that self-care is something she has to do.
- Self-care is somehow commercialized as though it could be bottled up into products.
- But self-care isn’t something that you can buy; it is something you already are, and you are capable of attaining on your own.
Crucial Ideas for Self-Care
- It’s essential to be consistent in caring for yourself because no one else is going to do it for you.
- Build self-care into your day and take a pause.
- Also, express yourself clearly and compassionately.
- Remember that being passionate doesn’t give you a pass to express yourself rudely.
5 Powerful Quotes from This Episode
[18:41] “One of the ultimate practices of self-care is to be able to express yourself fully, to be able, to tell the truth as best as you can, and to not push it down.”
[22:12] “If we have the capacity to express our anger, we should have the capacity to use our words mindfully and use our words kindly instead of just lashing out at people.
[26:22] “Start now. You can create a new habit every day. Every moment, every second, you have the opportunity to not be that person.”
[26:47] “We are who we are. But we also are who we are going to be.”
[36:18] “Build [self-care] into your day. Take those breaths, take those pauses, have conversations, express yourself in a very clear and concise way that doesn’t involve an aggressive tone.”
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